to be honest, i've already written and deleted paragraph after paragraph here. i can't seem to find the words to start, but i have a lot to say today. umm..well, i danced today. sometimes the only way to take my next breath is to put on some loud music and jump and sway and wriggle around until my smile is genuine again. it usually only happens on bad days, but today is not one of them. i've just been really weighed down with some old worries and some new worries and they were getting really heavy right around 2:00. sometimes i feel really plain and boring. and un-special. is there a better word for that feeling?