there once was a boy named sweeny and a girl named andrea who spent all of their time together and got so close that there was no more space between them, and it was good. they loved each other very much and were the best of friends, but being young and inexperienced they didn’t always know how to express what they felt. at times this led to hurting each other. "i'm sorry," sweeny or andrea would say and before the apology was done forgivness had been granted, and it was good. until the night came when sweeny was weary and found nothing but honesty to share with his dearest companion. he expressed a desire of committment from andrea, and although she loved him very much, she could not agree to his terms for she embraced her youth and her freedom. sweeny was hurt; a division had begun, a space began to exist once more. his pride was his downfall, and he almost sacrificed the most important person in his life because of it. he never blamed her, he just never understood and though time and time again she expressed her love, he ignored her and grew even more downcast. sweeny realized he could never again be the boy he had been, he couldnt go on being the person he was with andrea without her, and in his small mind he didnt realize he still had her. sweeny changed! everything about himself was different, not better, not worse, but completely different. the way he talked, the way he walked every movement oozed with a false confidence that no one noticed except andrea. she would call him and try to pretend nothing had changed. but sweeny’s conversation was no longer intimate, it became very shallow…he became very shallow. it was bad. on the phone late at night andrea would demand her old friend back. sweeny would whisper an apology into the phone, met by silence. and finally, in a hoarse sad tone she would reply,"its ok,i suppose,i just miss the old you". we would both begin to cry, mourning for an old friend we expected never to see again. andrea moved on as did sweeny but both always keeping each other in the corner of their eye, a loving distant gaze, shared by two. it could never be the same. eventually the boy found a girl, the girl found a man. the world kept pace, they spoke from time to time,and nothing was the same. one day they spotted one another from across a field of wild tulips and the beauty was to much to bear . they ran to each other, tears welled in their eyes as they came close, when they touched it turned into sobbs. they both began spilling stories of past and future, pain and pleasure, joy and grief. they talked for hours that turned into days all the time remembering why this person was so very dear to the heart, why they had reserved this love for so long waiting for the right moment to express it, and things began to be the same, and all was good. here's our story from my side. i love you, babe... sweeny

i don't feel eloquent tonight, i don't feel like i understand what i'm feeling at all, or if what i'm feeling makes sense, if it's fair, if it's ok. i just don't know. i've kept this letter sweeny sent me all those years ago, and now i guess it's obvious that neither of us anticipated how it all would end.