this weekend i barely got out of bed. i didn't realize how much weight i was carrying on my shoulders until it was gone and my eyes wouldn't open. i've neglected pretty much every relationship i have lately, and the good news is that i'm finding that most of my long-distance friendships are thankfully low-maintenance, that everyone seems to understand that i do what i can when i can. the holidays are coming, and i'm looking forward to them - to my grandparents falling asleep sitting up, watching stupid holiday parades; to cranberry sauce cut in slices from the can; to familiar faces i never see anymore. the mall started playing christmas music this past week. suddenly there are ribbons and bells and twinkle lights and i just can't wait to go home and watch thanksgiving, and then christmas, appear again. this year will be very different, though, because i don't live at home anymore. instead of a month of mom's cooking, i'll be making a couple extended trips home... and then coming back to my own place. my plants need me. i suppose i'll have to go tree shopping this year, buy my own little star for atop my own little tree. crazy. but i'm lost in tangent; barely into november, i'm already wishing the rest of the year away.