it's just been pouring out of my mouth lately. so much complaining. i'm not doing it on purpose; in fact, i'm getting tired of hearing about all the hard things, all the unfair and impossible things, all the exhausting things. i tried to stop it last week, but there it was again a few days ago, when i was post call and my defenses were low. the next logical step, of course, was to complain about how much i hate complaining and how i can't seem to keep from doing it lately.
what i found out was that last year's new neurology residents had the same problem. or, at least one of them did. my senior said that out of the three new residents last year, one complained all the time. about everything. the second became so depressed and introverted that he nearly left the program. the third bought a wii and played his fingers raw. about the complainer, though, no one held it against him; they just figured everyone has their own way of dealing with stress, and that was his. and apparently, it is mine.
so here is the goal- to find something else, something just as easy, to decompress. chocolate would work (and is already being used by the new #2). this year's #3 is not a video game man - he's mainly just agitated, mumbling sarcastic and semi-violent comments under his breath every time his pager goes off. me? i am the new complainer, but maybe i will be the new something else. the traveler, or the sushi-eater, or the one-who-hums-in-elevators.
it's just a year. you can do anything for a year.
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