five hours to grove city, an hour to pittsburgh, a black russian and three bands. sometimes i can be so lazy about going out but last night it was all i wanted to do. and especially because ryan's moving to minnesota to be with his girlfriend, and i just had to hear that sexy voice one more time. he's beautiful. and she was there, at the show, and i saw how good they were for each other, how they complimented each other. it made me realize again that having a connection with someone doesn't mean dating them, or even being friends. having a night staying up together, talking, laughing, listening... that's precious not because of what might come of it, but because of what it already is. a time to understand and be understood. a time to forget time is passing. and the feeling when i get into bed that the day was worth it because for a few minutes i was completely me and that was all i had to be.