end of the summer

this late summer, the air has been thick. thick so that my bath towels won't dry because there is already too much water for the air to hold. thick like the summer cold that i caught last week and can't seem to clear. thick because summer is trying to hold on as the last days of august are flashing by so slyly that here comes september already.

august has been humid and empty-eyed. i blame the clinic, where my days have been spent languishing in a staff lounge, waiting for patients that sometimes show up and often don't. my days have felt longer than they are, leaving me feeling obligated to fill up my evenings with busy obligations, tidying up the loose ends of life, doing 'what needs to get done'. the end result is that i am nearly at the end of my "vacation" month, soon to become a slave to the ICU, and i am far from being rested. i tend to overbook my free time, and i have had lots of free time. way too much, in fact.

i feel weary, tired of the oppressive heat and wet air, the endless list of patients, the cage of a desk i am expected to return to. i am tired of summer, though i know i'll miss it when the snow has been falling relentlessly and i can't remember the feel of a warm breeze on my bare arms. i will miss it, but it's time to go. see you in the fall.