laryngitis.

any physician will tell you that to be healthy, you need to accomplish a short list of duties. eat right. exercise. get enough sleep. that's an easy top three. in the process of becoming a doctor, i have recited this short list several times. forget these things, we tell our patients, and you will eventually pay.

warning sign number one: several nights ago i fell asleep with a pounding headache and woke up with it the next morning. i almost didn't go into work that day, but after several aspirin and a cup of coffee, i managed to dull the pain enough to get myself to the hospital. that was tuesday. warning sign number two came wednesday, when the headache got marginally better and my nose began leaking like a faucet. i was getting sick. i know the prescription for that.

however, wednesday was also my call night, and so i grabbed my scrubs and a toothbrush as i headed out the door. i know that, for a night of call, it was pretty darn good. i actually got a few hours of sleep. but as any good doctor will tell you, three hours is not good enough when your immune system is on the fritz. interesting that the health rules only apply to NOT-us.

laryngitis. it's what happens when a virus attacks your vocal chords. sinusitis is what happens when bacteria decide to invade your breathing space. i am currently lucky enough to have both. i managed to work for three hours before bumping into my attending, who promptly heard my whispering froggy squawk and shook his head, apparently disappointed in me that i had chosen to succumb to the germs. i almost apologized.

most physicians would have to be literally dying before they would dream of calling in sick. i don't know why this is, and i don't agree with it. for men and women who know enough about the human body to literally cut it open and put it back together again, doctors seem to put their own health last. this is the refrain i am being trained in: we are not the sick ones. the rules don't apply to us. we are above illness; we are smarter than it; it must obey us.

the offer of a half day was graciously given to me, and i took it with more than a little guilt. i am surprised to find the chorus of lies in me already. i am already denying myself the truths i push on others, already practicing other doctor's bad habits. but in this season of thanks giving, my heartfelt thanks goes out to laryngitis, who had the decency to take me down easy and give me a half day off to study.

...i mean, rest. mmhmm.