my thermostat mocks me. it has a mind of it's own and doesn't like to be controlled, so when i set it to 62 degrees at night, it never fails that i'll wake up sweaty, tangled in my sheets in a room that's at least 80 degrees. when i set it to 58, though, it never turns the heat on at all, and i shiver all night long. i've experimented with every increment in between, and lately i just expect the heat and sleep with my window open.

now every morning i wake up to the sound of cars driving on the busy city road outside my apartment complex. it's interesting - i can usually tell what kind of day it is long before i get out of bed by the sounds the cars make. today, i hear the whhish of tires pushing aside water on the road and the sound of old wet leaves slapping together in same the breeze that makes my blinds shiver. it's saturday, but i will be studying. i don't really want to get out of bed.

the heat just kicked on; that might help me on my way to the shower. but for now, i am sitting here thinking about tomorrow, the day that will kick off a new habit for this year... i will not be studying on sundays. that could seem like a small deal, except that this sunday is the day before my first neurology exam and practical, and i am far from being prepared. still, deciding to start later when it's more convenient means never starting at all, and i know it. when God speaks, if i don't listen immediately, it means He won't speak again for a long, long time. so today is my last study day, and tomorrow i will rest, no matter how much work is left to do. i'm terrified, and that's why i'm sure that i've uncovered something that must be done.

my heat is off again, and i wish my thermostat didn't think it knew better than i did, trying to push out hot air at all the wrong times. i'm sure God thinks the same way about me when i try to get around the way He created me, with my needs for rest.

i'm not taking my grades with me when i die, after all.