starbucks played jeff buckley's "hallelujah" while i was studying the urea cycle in a comfy chair tonight. it reminded me of my senior year of college, when all the boys in my life were obsessed with him. and i thought about it with a smile...and then i was shocked because of the fond memories i was having about a time of my life i couldn't wait to get out of. i'd made a paper chain of days till graduation, starting while there was still snow in the air. it was so long that i had it looped around my door, down to the floor and back up to the ceiling again. i remember wanting the days to pass more quickly than they would, and now here i am, remembering them with a smile. you never know what you'll look back on and smile. so days feel rather monotonous lately, but i think i'll look back on these days and love them in retrospect. there have been years of school that christmas appeared out of nowhere, but this year i have a tree (MY OWN TREE!) and my girlfriends are all going out to a fancy little dinner on south street to celebrate the season, and i even have new year's plans. i'll be in pittsburgh, running around with a bunch of junior high school kids, helping dave chaperone his YFC all-night party. i was originally thinking more along the lines of a sparkly dress and a champagne toast, but this will definately be more interesting, and probably (can't believe i'm saying this) more fun. something about who you're with being more important than where you are comes to mind. i'll let you know how it turns out.

i've been thinking about christmas cards, and presents, and calling all the people that i miss regularly. i don't think i will, but i'm thinking about it. mass-calling, dolling out greetings one-by-one just seems irreverent in a real friendship. better a friendly silence that will wait for a saturday afternoon and a cup of coffee than a five word christmas card. that might be a lazy excuse; but, jen and misty, kat and courtney, jenn, amanda, cara, meg (who read me sometimes), and greg, and sweeny, and rebecca, janna, rob, jay, and jordan (who don't)...i miss you all. so much. my favorite daydream is to pretend you're all here.